Gah.

especially right now.

I should head to bed.

And yes, just so you know my status is about you.

I hope you get the hint, haih.

I am trying very hard, to forget YOU.

You are the only exception.

Ahh yes, my brother for another mother :)

He is so far the funniest companion I have.

Thanks for being there for me :)

Oh Amy, let's go shop for peace necklaces,

And Cynthia, let's sing The Only Exception the whole day tomorrow :)

Sasha, let's go for a jog.

Ahh, speaking of love reminded me of Valentine's day.

Guess I'll be spending it with beloved friends :)

Ily guys to bits :)

Some how.

I sorta kinda miss this.

Like seriously I do.

[I don't know about the others, so yeah.]

Somehow some people just went whoosh change.

Just in a blink of an eye.

I'm not mentioning name here, I'm sure you know yourself well.

From Gangerz, to Sisterhood, to what now?

I'm clueless. The next thing we know, we all called ourselves the 3 musketeers.

Like seriously.

We're breaking up, and moving on.

I somehow had the courage to write this, due to I know no one will read this.

Haih. I wish we could be together again, in A WAY.

But I guess, we're better off not being close as we use too before.

I've got a tight grip on reality,

But I can't let go of what's in front of me here,

I know your leaving in the morning, when you wake up,

Leave me with some kind of proof that it's not a dream.

You are the only exception.

Ahhh, I miss Alex.

I really do.

People change.

I wish I could smile the way I did in this photo, every day.

But I know I can't do that.

Things had been quite rough for me lately.

Maybe I'm just taking things so un seriously, and things began to change.

And honestly, I'm not liking the changes at all.

Those promises you made, I know you didn't mean it.

I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay.

I need to believe that, it is all I had. Haih.

So far, the best companion that I could ever trust and have is God :(

And of course my beloved peeps, Afah Phong Chelsea Sharon need I mention more?

Gah. Extremely not in the mood.

I hate looking at myself and realizing that I don't like what I see.

I hate looking back at things I did and wondering why I was like that.

Every day there's something wrong.

Just one trivial thing can make me unhappy for just a moment.

It's like it's not even possible to have a day without one bad feeling.

It shows that I worry too much about little things.

Screw mehh.

Please don't change.

Un-change yourself back.

I hardly recognize you now.

I want the old you back. But I guess it's impossible.

Fly With Me.

if it's you and me forever,

if it's you and me right now,

that'd be alright, be alright.

Heh. I seriously don't know what I can do any longer. I should move on, I know I should. But I know, I don't have the courage or the GUTS to do so. As far as I've known, you had been perfect. I thought you were meant to be mine. But it seems like you're not meant for me after all. Every thing was okay, what went wrong? I guess, I knew the answer too soon.

She came in your life, and she took your heart away, and made you felt completely deeply in love with her. You wished she was yours. You want her to be yours. And at the same time, she wanted you. She wished she was yours too. I guess that is what you call fate? And when you told me that you were FINALLY together, I swore those words struck me right straight to my heart.

I know I shouldn't react like a total insane maniac, and I won't. I knew you would be happy enough just by being with her. So I'm guessing I should move on right now. Before anything happen. Before my heart felt like it's breaking to pieces once more. Before I start tearing apart, and started hurting myself.

So I'm guessing that this is GOODBYE.

p/s : Don't take for granted that I'm emo or something. I'm NOT.

Love issues are just so not my thing, at ALL.

School-NO.

Ignorance is your new best-friend :)

Skip school today, thanks to PMS. Screw.

I miss the whole period of Maths and Geography.

But nah-I do need some rest. Been staying back for the whole week.

Thanks to Bong. Crazy girl.

And thanks to Amy--I had sun burn all over my face.

My face is red as a tomato. Not kidding.

But then so far it's okay now :)

How's school so far?

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Yesterday I officially and succesfully received my so called pose as,

a class monitor by receiving a "PRETTY" vest from the principal :)

Congratulations to the other students.

Stayed back--was left behind AGAIN. Played ball the whole day.

I should give Afah a call again after this, good bye :D

Stop saying you're sorry,

Cause it seems like it's the only word you could say whenever you did something.

I don't want your sorry. You can keep it to yourself.

All I want from you, was the explanation to all my questions :(

UPDATED.

Hey ho people :)

Sorry for the lack of updates. Been super busy with school works and stuff.

I guess Form 4 wasn't that EASY.

And no-I'm not saying that I thought Form 4 was easy. NO.

It's due to because I'm in Arts stream.

Ahhh yes, and I'm not in Science stream. NOT.

I'm not bloody smart ass-but at least I don't look down on people right?

You fagot-I don't care if you look down on me. At least I accepted my class, right?

Well moving on then. First week of school wasn't that bad.

It's not as horrible as it was--LAST YEAR.

I sat with Aryna, Amy and Cynthia :)

Thank God, they're in the same class with me, if not I bet I would be dying there. Not kidding. I mean it, like seriously.

So far, school lesson's isn't that bad. Maths was actually exciting in a WAY?

Perhaps, maybe I didn't have to learn Additional Maths, so I'm guessing that the Maths I'm learning now is so much easier. Other lessons was just okay. No hard ones, at the moment.

Well to be honest, the hardest thing for me,

was being separated from everyone else.

Not being in the same class with my closest buds,

is seriously a NO NO NO for me. I swear I'm lucky to have Cyn, Aryna, Amy.

But still it's not the same. Gah. I shall start moving on now.

No more lazy-ing around.

After Form 5, I'll be so SUPER FREE. One more year to go.

:)

Happy New Year :)

Happy new year :)

I guess I won't do my long long post as I did it last year.

Or maybe I'll do it tomorrow? ;)

Happy new year to all :)

It had been the best year ever, well at least it's better than the other

previous years?

I bet this year would be TOTALLY different.

Heh, I hope everything would turn out fine :)

And I'm so utterly sorry if I did hurt anyone's feeling, didn't meant to :O

I love you peeps out there :)

Meanies.

Mack and Barnaby :)

Meanies. Super meanies :P like seriously. Haha. They are. Went out for dinner at Zeek, located near Petanak area, next to Kaya and Toast :) So super nice. And yes, we went with the rest of the youth, and yes both of them two. We ate and ate, and cam whore, and TALKTALKTALK. I hate the second meal, by the way. It's green veggies, and MUSHROOM. GAWD. It look horrible, and it SMELL horrible too.

I didn't bother to touch it. EEW. The guys went like super macho, by eating everything XD They went, 'Let's pretend this is KOLO MEE.' and went eating EVERY SINGLE THING ON THE PLATE :O Haha, horrible. The brownies on the other hand, was FANTASTIC. I wish I could bring some back just now. The highlights for the occasion, was the PRESENTS. Since it is still the Christmas season. Everyone went exchanging gifts.

I received a super nice perfume and a necklace / bracelet / anklet from Revon. Thank you buddie :) Revon received a gorilla slash monkey from Barnaby. Mack a cup and er--something.

Cynthia a teddy bear, Linah a packet of chocolates :) Oh so HEAVENLY. Rawang-a PINK bottle. Haha. ROFL. Barnaby a deco for the car--he don't even own a car, but heck. Accept only. Mark received a Body glove hat, and a horn. You lucky guy :P My brother received 4 BARS OF CHOCOLATE. And again, oh so HEAVENLY.

It was fun, SUPER FUN and awesome :)

I wish to go out more with the rest of the youth.

I hate love you meanies, even though you people so MEAN :P

p/s : I'll upload the pictures soon :)

I feel erk.

Results? Err-I seriously have NO comment.

Somebody SHOOT me.

TODAY.

I can still remember how anxious was I on the first day of PMR.

And I can still remember how glad was I when it was ALL over.

But today, the same feeling that I felt on the first day of PMR is back.

And it's super duper scarier than sitting it at first.

Today--Results Day.

We all have like less than 2 hours now--I wish a miracle could happen right now.

Wish us all the best.

We are the reason <3

TODAY, hand mime presentation :)

Wish us the best of luck <3

I finally find the reason for living,

It's in giving every part of my heart to Him,

In all that I do, every word that I say,

I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him :)

We Are The Reason - Avalon :)

Hand mime song <3

p/s : AFAH, you never reply my message. Heh you.

p/ps : I miss Sasha already. I see you tomorrow :)

Currently counting the days to our doomsday.

5 DAYS left, till freedom is officially OVER.

p/p/ps : Ooh. And also, I don't think I'll be updating till like next week?

Today, Christmas party plus caroling :)

Tomorrow, whole day in church.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, same routine. Church all the way.

Thursday? WTFH. Results out.

Friday. Christmas Day. Time flies fast eh?

oh fcuk.

It's CONFIRMED.

PMR results coming out on CHRISTMAS EVE.

On the 24 of December 2009.

Christmas spoiler, stupid result have to come out that day.

Oh why, did it have to happen on CHRISTMAS EVE?

We all have less than a week, until that day that we had all been waiting,

for weeks, months is finally arriving :(

I wish everyone the best.

Dead.

My blog so super dead.

Updates are getting lesser.

And no it's not because I'm lazy to update.

It's because I'm just TOO busy.

Practices are like everyday.

And we don't get our freedom like we had last two years.

That butcher woman, is seriously controlling us.

She don't let us go wherever we want.

And I still can remember what she say.

'We must all go together as a GROUP. Not alone. Must in GROUP.'

WTH?

I owe Phong a apology. Like seriously.

I didn't mean to do it on purpose. Was busy.

And butcher won't let us go anywhere. Unless it's like lunch time,

then we are allow to go, but only to Green Hill only.

No where else, stupid butcher. Screw her.

So sorry Phong, didn't mean too. Heh.

Sandy + Spongebop = TOO?

Premiering on the 18 of December--I think?

Practices.

I feel like I'm half dead already.

Heh. Not kidding.

Practices are like so super tiring today.

Tomorrow, worst-er than today.

I freaking have to wake up before 8 to get ready to go to church.

Practices starts at 8:30 am sharp. End at 9:00pm.

WTFH. Heh. Might going to meet up with Phong tomorrow.

Am not sure whether I can meet up with her or not. Heh.

May God bless me tomorrow. Amen.

Kristi came to church today. Was happy like seriously.

Then after that it went as normal as it was like how it use to be before.

Stayed back in church from 6:45am till 4:30pm, just now.

Went everywhere, with Cynthia, and shop here and there :)

Bought a top, yellow in colour. Satisfied.

Hang out in Hilton for half and hour.

Went back to church for hand mime practices after that.

ps : I don't think I would had the chance to spend time with Kristi this week.

So super sorry :(

I'm just TOO busy at the moment.

Well I should end this now, off to bed :)

p/ps : AFAH NABILAH :)

How have you been? It's been ages since I heard anything from you.

I miss you, you never text me. Heh.

p/p/ps : You too CHELSEA BONG :) and PHONG :)

I miss my Miss Weird liaw. I miss the person that loves screaming to my ears.

We must TRY to go out during the holidays.

And Phong, I must TRY to see you tomorrow.

p/p/p/ps : I wonder how's Sharon and Alex doing.

It's been like ages since I talk to them.

Heh, it's official, I miss them all :(

And the reason is you.

And I seriously don't know what to write,

eversince

Cassie and Michelle complained that my blog was LAME. Tsk them ><

Then you both, tell me what should I be posting? :)

Sighed. I feel confused now. And seriously not loving it.

What should I do now?

BusyBusyBusy.

I'm going to be busy soon.

And screw my computer jammed.

I hope ALL of my files won't go missing.

Stupid virus. Leave my poor computer alone. Heh.

So far, I'm forcing and trying to make myself happy at the moment.

With Christmas coming, I wouldn't want it to be like last year.

When I have to go through TOO much sucky, painful moments. T.T

I wouldn't want to get through it no longer.

I hope that this year, Christmas would be as what I expect it would be.

Or maybe at least it would be not as miserable as it was last year. Tsk.

Currently forcing myself to learn some songs on the piano.

Something to get me out from the computer. And from everything.

Would be updating soon :)

p/s : I guess I'm missing everyone in school now.

Afah, Chelsea, Phong, Alex, Sharon, I'm missing you guys a lot :(

And it's the same for the rest too.

Kristi's coming back this Saturday. Can't wait to see her again.

p/ps : Something had change currently.

And I can't get my mind out of it at all.

Please change back, so I won't go wondering about it ever again.

p/p/ps : Happy 15th birthday Hazelin Ng :)

On The Line

RULES.

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, Realplayer etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. You must write that song name down NO MATTER HOW SILLY it sounds.

4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.

5. For best results, put in various songs from various singers at least 50 songs.

1. If someone says, "Is this okay?"... you say?

Wonder Girls - Nobody [WTH? Haha.]

2. How could you describe yourself?

Girls Generation - Honey [HAHA.]

3. What do you like in a girl/boy?

Dong Bang Shin Ki - Mirotic [Aiseh manns! So cun.]

4. How do you feel today?

Park Bom - You and I [Haha. NO way.]

5. What is your life's purpose?

Kara - Wanna [What is this suppose to mean? HAHA.]

6. What is your motto?

ShiNEE - Replay [My motto is Replay everyone :D]

7. What do your friends think of you?

Jisun - What Should I do [Aiseh so sad.]

8. What do you think of your parents?

Incubus - Drive

9. What do you think about very often?

Sandara ft CL - Kiss [WTFH? Apa ya?]

10. What is 2 + 2?

HSM 3 - Can I Have This Dance [So tak kena mengena la.]

11. What do you think of your best friend?

Paramore - Ignorance [LAWL. Afah, ignorance?]

12. What do you think of the person you like?

Corbin Bleu ft Vanessa Hudgens - Still There For Me [Aiseh, so cun. Haha.]

13. What is your life story?

SuneoHair - Waltz [Rasa Honey and Clover eh. Haha.]

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?

4 Minute - What A Girl Wants [Anything that a girl wants? Haha.]

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

Kings Of Leon - Use Somebody [WTH? 0.o]

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?

Super Junior - Sorry Sorry [SO COOL. HAHA!]

17. What is your hobby/interest?

ShiNEE - Ring Ding Dong [LAWL, together with Min Ho, ring ding dong all the way :D]

18. What is your biggest fear?

Boys Like Girls ft Taylor Swift - Two Is Better Than One [Apakah?]

19. What is your biggest secret?

Kara - Honey [Haha, I LOVE honey :D]

20. What do you think of your friends?

Kara - Mister [Butt dance. ROFL.]

21. What will you post this as?

Demi Lovato - On The Line [WTH? WHY?]

I feel so much better now.

Well that's the least I could think.

Heh. Well then I'll be busy starting this week.

With our upcoming Christmas combined service, with Christmas Party.

With caroling practices. With youth practices.

The same routines only this time it's gonna be different.

I bet I won't be loving the moment.

Kristi coming back on the 12th.

Youth Practices on the 14th till the 19th.

Christmas Party on the 19th.

Christmas Combined Service on the 17th.

Caroling starts on the 18th till I don't know yet.

Youth Bbq not sure.

PMR results coming out on the 27 or the 28th. Fcuk.

There's more. Just wait and see.

p/s : FCUK. My phone spoilt! Mcb.

A year older.

Happy birthday dearest cousin Gina :)

You're 8 today!

So sorry couldn't come over and hang out with you and the rest.

Would go out with you and Kevin and Trisha on Thursday :)

I love you little one :D

I should do this.

I hate it when we stop talking and it end up you saying sorry,

when I didn't bother to talk to you no longer.

I hate it when you started texting and my credit went zero. Fcuk.

I hate it when you told someone else and they're not even close to you,

about something I should know. Something that your best friends should know too.

I hate it when you said you trust me and not them, but still why didn't you told

me about it since you mentioned that you trust me and not them?

I hate it when I have to find it out from them and not from you yourself.

I hate it when suddenly a person said I shouldn't be talking about it,

and I should not tell anyone about it.

Well then I won't bother talking about it no longer, okay?

And I wouldn't bother telling anyone else cause there's no point of me doing it

at ALL.

Haizs. I'm not blaming you no longer.

I won't bother about this no more.

You decide what so ever you want to do in your life now.

Because I have no rights to do it. I'm not you. You know yourself better.

And I don't. So fine.

Things happen already, I can't turn back time.

There's no use of me being mad any longer. I find it stupid and pointless.

Being mad won't change anything. Haizs.

I seriously don't know what to say any longer.

And fcuk NO. I'm not being fcuking emo here.

I'm just a sad person with a bad life.

That feeling.

i feel hopeless.

depressed.

everything :(

I won't say a word.

So days passed, and I'm still feeling down.

I seriously should stop it, before I get any sicker again.

But I couldn't. I know I won't.

So it seems like I have to pretend like nothing happen.

But I doubt that I can pretend that long, cause sooner or later,

I'll break down and start being depressed.

And I don't want that.

Just so you know,

I won't say a word no longer.

I don't think I could bother talking about it anymore.

Or even try bringing it up again.

Cause you know why?

I never thought it would even happen.

But I guess I was wrong wrong wrong the whole time.

Somebody shoot me. Haizs.

I can't stop you from doing anything.

Cause it's your life, I would't want to bother that much.

Your choice. Your decision. Your life.

I wasn't suppose to know it anyway.

Moving on.

Currently, drama of lying is so over now.

Well that's the least I could think? Heh.

Shoot me like NOW.

Everything is seriously testing my patience.

I don't know who the fcuk am I suppose to trust. Like seriously.

Heh. I feel like punching, slapping, everything to that person.

Mcb like seriously lah you.

Why do you have to lie?

Why do you have to create those stupid fcuktard lies?

Why do you have to talk bad behind me?

Why didn't you tell me the truth?

What am I to you?

I look up to you, and this is what I get?

Bloody shit lah you.

I knew something else again today.

And it hurts me so much, I don't think I could ever bother talking to that person.

I can't believe that it would happen anyway.

I felt stupid now anyway.

GAH!

I never thought that this day would come.

Haizs. So super sad. I feel like dying.

I wish that everyone could just tell me the truth now.

Cause those lies that you all made is hurting me so much.

I bet the truth hurts more.

But it's better than a lie right? :(((

You stupid mean heartless beast person.

Stop playing with my heart.

//you're breaking it to pieces, and it hurts me so much when i found out it's you.//

Confused.

This shall be my ranting post for today.

And I know Tiffany, my post all so emo.

Cause currently my life so seriously freakishly SAD.

WTFH.

Can someone SERIOUSLY FREAKISHLY tell me,

who the fcuking hell is telling me the truth now?

Can you tell me?

Stop telling me all sorts of LIES, you damn it.

WTFH do you have to that for?

It's not like you're gonna get a prize or something, dumb ass.

You're just gonna loose your friends, your CLOSEST friends.

Because of your damn fcuking childish lies.

Stop telling me your stupid lies lah, it's not like I'm going to believe you now.

Damn, bitch.

You can go rot in hell.

And I feel so fcuking piss off with you every single minute I type a word here.

I seriously don't know who the fcuk am I suppose to believe now.

Like seriously I DON'T.

Back back back.

Finally back.

But too bad, I won't update now.

SOON la. Haha.

New Moon.

I'll be posting this quick, cause I want to hit the sack.

I have sore-throat.

A fever. Flu. And non-stop cough.

So here goes.

Oh yeah, I watch this today :)

With Sharon, Afah and Claudia.

Chelsea and Phong couldn't join us, so sad :(

I owe them both movie tickets now. Haha. I'll repay you both soon okay?

Thanks again for the gift Chelsea, Donna and Syaza :)

[SO SORRY.]

[I don't bother to blog about this ANY LONGER.]

MBO.

I feel like KILLING that site.

Stupid SITE.

I've been waiting for it to UPDATE since just now.

And guess what?

IT NEVER DID.

Dear MBO site,

please update your site.

I swear I won't sleep well tonight, because I'll be thinking about it.

And you want to know why?

Cause I scared they won't be any seats [And yes Afah, I got it right this time.]

LEFT. Heh T.T

I'm hoping for a miracle now, to happen.